Friday, October 21, 2011

A Good Morning

Emmy woke up about 10 after 6, not bad.  I brought her into bed with us and although she didn't lay there long she was pretty content.  I brought her downstairs (Ava was up and came along) and changed her diaper.  No complaints.  No biting or hitting.  Then, here's the kicker, she walked over to her books I had up on the chair and she flipped through them.  Not perfectly, there was still a lot of tapping, but she had a smile on her face.  I even went into the kitchen and finished up some dishes!  There was no screaming, no throwing the book, just little giggles and great hand control.  Then...then before I went to walk the dog she walked over to me with her sippy (no handles) in her hands.  She stared at me and then down at her sippy for a good couple of minutes.  She took drinks, unassisted, and didn't drop it!  Now, she still can grab stuff occasionally but never hold on to it for any length of time.  John and I sat there and just watched.  The whole morning there was no screaming, hitting or biting.  I got her dressed for school and she even let me put her hair in piggies (wish I had a picture to share, so cute). 

I know, I shouldn't get too excited because it could just be the day.  But my HOPE is that maybe we're turning the corner.  Maybe she will regain some hand control.  Maybe that will make her happier.  See the hardest part about dealing with Rett Syndrome hasn't been letting go of my dreams for her.  I have accepted the fact that her life course will be different than what we expected.  And that's fine, we love her just the same.  The hardest part has been watching her suffer.  Watching her face turn blue while she's unable to breath is hard.  Watching her stare at her hands and scream in frustration because they won't do what she wants is hard.  Listening to her cries and knowing she has so much she needs to tell me but can't is hard.  I just want her to be happy, at peace.  I find myself praying for just that, peace, in any form God can provide.

So today the sun in shining (after days of rain), it's not too cold, and I have two happy (even if just for this day) girls.  Today we'll get outside and soak in the autumn sun...and be ohhh so grateful for our good morning.    

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